Discussion: The Struggle To Be Online

Hello again.

It may be obvious with my actions in the past few months, but I’ve been struggling with reading recently. Both the actual act of reading and the social aspects of it, such as bookstagram and book reviewing here on this blog.

My break from the bookish world, I’ve found, was ultimately a culmination of a few different factors.

For one, I was definitely overworked, reading books I didn’t really care for just because I had been offered ARCs. There’s a lesson in there, I think, to slow down and only accept the books I’m really excited for, but I think I tend to think I’m excited just because the offer sounds good, only to later realize when I actually have to pick up the book that I’m not really in the mood for it and probably never will be.

I’ll work on it.

The second aspect of the bookish world that was weighing heavily on me was social media. I’ve never been particularly good at it (or being social in general), but I felt like the amount of effort I was putting into it outweighed the engagement I was receiving. What was the point in putting new content into the world if the world doesn’t care for what you have to say?

In all honesty, my “efforts” into social media were a bit misplaced. Rather than interacting with others and building a community of like-minded people, social media for me was just the numbers. How many likes can I get on a post? How do I build a brand further? If I get x amount of subscribers, I could receive y in the future, and use that to delve into z…

It’s no wonder my bookish habits crashed and burned.

You may have heard that recently, I started a youtube channel playing video games. It originally developed as more of the same I was already doing over on bookstagram: putting content into the world for the sake of content, albeit in a different niche. But it’s been doing… fairly well for itself, regardless. And with that comes people reaching out. Interaction and audiences and socialization.

It’s made me think.

A few days ago, I started getting into reading a bit more. I don’t remember the exact reasoning behind my thought process, but a tornado was coming to visit my town (I’m okay), and I had a few hours to prepare. Knowing my power was going to go out, I prioritized my kindle over other devices, and spent the next day reading The Husky and His White Cat Shizun in the dark while waiting for the power to return.

And then, once I finished that, I moved on to another book. And another. And another.

All this reading motivated me to think about bookish social media again. To go out onto the internet and interact with others and their posts. Seek community and all that. It’ll probably be slow going because I am a creature of comfort and my comfort does not lie in socialization, but I’m dedicated to making it happen no matter how slow it goes, and that fact is enough for me right now.

Thus, discussions about this blog.

In the past, I used this blog solely for book reviewing. Just a place to shove my thoughts, get my thoughts into the void, and not really focus on what happens after. But I’m thinking now of opening it up to new post types. Lists of favorites. Collections of my favorite quotes from books. Whatever I think would be interesting.

And I’m asking for your help.

Firstly, I want to know the sorts of posts you think would be interesting to see. Again with the whole “throwing things into the void” thing, I don’t know what sorts of posts (besides reviews) readers want to see on a book blog, and I want this blog to be fun. Interesting. A place where, when you get that notification that there’s been a new post uploaded, you’re excited to hop right in and see what’s new. Whether that means you should comment your own ideas or just judging mine when they pop up, I want to know what you think.

Secondly, I want you to bully me. Not in a mean way, of course (no one truly wants people to be mean to them, I think), but in an “unending torment” sort of way. I want to get better at interacting with people, but I tend to shy away for a while when it’s just me. Especially when I’m the one reaching out first. So, if you’re willing and able, I want you to comment. Interact with my posts. Draw me out of my shell and drag me into the light. And, for my part, I’ll try to comment back. Try to get past my anxiety and, I don’t know, make friends on the internet. Build a community. Talk to people.

It’s going to be a difficult road. But if we’re in this together, I think we can do it.